What Would Women Say...

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt...Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me "What setting do I use on the washing machine ?  "It depends," I replied.  "What does it say on your shirt?"  He yelled back, "Ohio State".

And they say blondes are dumb!

A couple is lying in bed.  The husband says, "I'm going to make you the happiest woman in the wold."  The women replies, "I'll miss you..."

"It's just too hot to wear clothes today,"  Jack said as he stepped out of the shower. "Honey, what do you think the neighbors would say if I mowed the lawn like this?"  "Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.

What do you call a an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?  A rumor.

A Wife's Prayer

Dear Lord,

I pray for Wisdom to understand my man

Love to forgive him,

and Patience for his mood

Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.

Amen.

Why do little boys whine?

They are practicing to be men.

What do you call a handcuffed man?

Trustworthy.

What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?

You did not hold the pillow down long enough.

How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?

Rename the email folder "Instructional Manual".

(Thanks to Bob A. for this bit of humor.)