What Would Women Say...

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt...Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me "What setting do I use on the washing machine ?  "It depends," I replied.  "What does it say on your shirt?"  He yelled back, "Ohio State".

And they say blondes are dumb!

A couple is lying in bed.  The husband says, "I'm going to make you the happiest woman in the wold."  The women replies, "I'll miss you..."

"It's just too hot to wear clothes today,"  Jack said as he stepped out of the shower. "Honey, what do you think the neighbors would say if I mowed the lawn like this?"  "Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.

What do you call a an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?  A rumor.

A Wife's Prayer

Dear Lord,

I pray for Wisdom to understand my man

Love to forgive him,

and Patience for his mood

Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.

Amen.

Why do little boys whine?

They are practicing to be men.

What do you call a handcuffed man?

Trustworthy.

What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?

You did not hold the pillow down long enough.

How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?

Rename the email folder "Instructional Manual".

(Thanks to Bob A. for this bit of humor.)

Is a Personal Trainer or Nutritionist for You?

(Microsoft ClipsOnline)

Certified personal trainers and/or nutritionists might help you lose that stubborn 30 pounds (or more). They may help to alleviate that back pain when all else has failed.  And sometimes you can make more strides without either one.

Lisa  Celeski, a teacher and personal trainer in the northwestern PA area cautions that we need to pick a trainer with care.  First , look for certifications in the area. The trainer needs to be knowledgable in exercise and also in nutrition. Second, pick someone who  matches your personal goals, not theirs. She emphasizes that your goals can be met best by following a gradual process, not a series of quick, hard exercises.  Know that the process will involve help but also discipline.  The client must eventually move away from the trainer and continue the regimen individually. Lisa reflected that in this area, the average cost for a personal trainer is $40 per hour, realizing that the cost of an in-home personal trainer help will also depend on travel time. Lisa has helped several women of all sizes in the northwestern PA area.

A review of YMCA locations across western PA, in Tampa, FL, and in San Antonio, TX showed just one Y offering the interesting Mobile Fit program (Sewickley, PA YMCA).  The client and the trainer work mainly by communicating through the laptop, ipad,  iphone or other web-based contact process. This could work well for those of us who are way too busy to travel to the Y three times a week while we attend to jobs and family.

Sometimes, having a bouncy, size 0  22-year-old trainer or nutritionist can be very depressing.  One of our contributors began with a nutritionist, became disillusioned and decided to tackle her weight problem by another means.

She remembers, " It began one day when I saw myself in a mirror, stuffing my face. It was not pretty, and during the next 10 months, I committed to reducing my food intake and increasing my exercise. I don't do any of that now. I still rarely drink sodas, very rarely eat ice cream, eat slower and quit when I feel full. I tried going to a nutritionist, but I would pig out before going to her.  She seemed so critical with her size 3 attitude.  More stress was created by knowing someone was judging my progress regularly.  This is also the reason a personal trainer would not work.  I did not want anyone seeing the fat.  At Curves, it was just women."

Dottie continues, "Drinking 8 oz of water before each meal, did not drink for 1/2 hour after my meal.  I did "Walk-a-Way the Pounds" tape and 3 times a week at Curves.  I ate healthier, making sure I ate from all food groups.  When I went a period of time with little protein, I did not lose at much weight.  So I had to make sure I ate at least the minimum portions.  When I cheated, I ate more veggies, cut out sodas and ice cream all together. (Note:  Dottie has lost more than 30+ lbs and has kept it off for two + years. She looks fabulous!)

But, then, there's good news about using a nutritionist.  Many insurances will pay the cost.  Joan D. has just begun with a nutritionist.  She's in her second month and says, "Regarding the nutritionist—I see her once a month.  So far the cost has been absorbed by a program that Highmark does at St. Vincent.  I am supposed to do my log which I must confess I didn’t do all last week.  I woke today and measured, wrote down, etc.  We review the log and the problems I am facing with this process.  The nutritionist gives me an honest overview of how she sees my past weeks and then gives me some tips on how to face the challenges that I might face during the days ahead."

Snap Fitness advertises that they participate in the Highmark Silver Sneakers program as do many other fitness centers and Ys-and many former teachers have one of the Highmark plans offering it.  The Snap Fitness free month offer includes a session with a personal trainer.

Finally, Dr. Jim R. also adds that there is an online certification process for those of us who might consider becoming personal trainers ourselves. Those of us already teaching yoga classes or those having background in physical fitness and exercise might help women start on the path of better health and fitness(  with the incentive of adding a little income to the personal coffers!)

(Our thanks to Dottie, Pat, Joan D.,  Lisa  and Jim for their insights into personal trainers and nutritionists.)

(Microsoft ClipsOnline)

Finally! Time to Read: Recommendations: Books and Websites

(Microsoft ClipsOnline)

We have seven new recommendations for fall reading plus the bonus of website referrals as well.

The Shift: How I Lost Weight & Discovered a Happier Life, by Tory Johnson By ABC News, Sept 10, 2013 8:06am. “Good Morning America” contributor Tory Johnson says she’s been fat forever. She finally got her act together and lost more than 60 pounds in a year. She shares her candid journey of exactly how she did it in her new book, “The Shift: How I Finally Lost Weight & Discovered a Happier Life.”  Here’s an excerpt for you:

"Throughout my childhood our freezer was stuffed with ice cream, pizza, and assorted frozen, microwavable packages. We never used the bottom oven on our stove because it was stuffed with snacks like Funyuns, Oreos and Chips Ahoy! Other kids would make a beeline for it, just as I did many times a day. 

By second grade, I was already a good twenty pounds overweight, a direct result of unhealthy eating habits. We equated food with comfort. Good day? Celebrate with snack. Bad mood? Nothing that a microwave pepperoni pizza couldn’t cure.

Throughout childhood and into my teen years, when I wanted to make a “healthy” drink choice, I downed glass after glass of fruit juice, oblivious to calories or carbs. I had come to believe that anything with fruit was healthy: Tropicana orange juice, Ocean Spray cranberry, Welch’s grape juice, and all those small Capri Sun packages. Liquid sugar.

This was the late seventies, and health clubs were catching on. Home was Miami Beach, where
people show off their bodies. Yet in our house, we didn’t talk about any connection between regular Coke, calories, and obesity or link food choices to our expanding waistlines.

One day my dentist asked Mom if she was “gaining or expecting,” as if inquiring about the weather. My mother was not pregnant; my brother, David, was already three. She and I never acknowledged his comment. Instead, we headed to Carvel for ice cream. Today I think about that incident often
when I try on a blouse that makes me look not just fat, but pregnant. “Gaining or expecting?” All these years later, I’m still bothered by his cruel and thoughtless comment.

Whenever I’ve thought about changing my future, I’ve let my past weigh me down. If you’ve always been overweight, or been fat for many years, it’s quite a hurdle to envision living any other way. The difficulty of fixing it— fathoming even where to start—seems too high. At times, the weight of the past threatens to derail me.

I’ve hidden behind the same habits and excuses for years. I blamed my parents for making me fat and allowing me to become addicted to overeating. I blamed McDonald’s for serving fattening burgers and fries. I blamed my compulsive eating on the mean kids in school, sadistic gym teachers, and even the former boss who fired me without warning by saying, “Tory, it’s a big world out there and I suggest you go explore it.”

I’m sick of dodging the blame and pinning excuses for my actions on other people and situations. I can see now how I have let the comfort of complacency carry me from fragile teenager to forty-one-year-old adult, and how easy it would be to stay the course, just as I have my whole life. But I can’t. I won’t. As I make this simple shift in my thinking, what once seemed daunting becomes much more doable and manageable."

Click HERE to get Tory Johnson’s weight loss tips.

Copyright (c) 2013 Tory Johnson.  All Rights Reserved.  Used with Permission. From the hardcover book “The Shift”  published 9/2013 by Hyperion Books, a division of the Hachette Book Group, Inc.  Connect with Tory Johnson at www.shiftwithtory.com.

And also we have two recommended readings and a great website referral. JoanD, one of our contributors writes,"Since the first of the year, I HAVE BEEN ON A REAL TYRANT to self improve, lose weight, move more, etc. Here are some of my findings to add to some of the topics covered in “Some Beauty Tips." Some additional books on the subject that I have found very useful (and I have copies of and am willing to share) How Not to Look Old—fast and effortless ways to look 10 years younger, 10 pounds lighter, 10 times better by Charla Krupp and Forever Cool—how to achieve ageless, youthful, and a modern personal style for men and women by Sherrie Mathieson. "

She adds,"Another good website that I have subscribed to, and it has been great for in-depth information on diet and nutrition as well as many other health topics is www.everydayhealth. The website has several newsletters that are free for the latest health facts, tips, advice and even some recipes! A third website  worth a look that you also can get just by registering is www.vibrantwomen.com .  It is the leading online community for women  over 45—which is advertised as a place where they can connect and support each other on issues unique to their stage of life including fashion, beauty, family, relationships, health, fitness, spirituality and growth, money and sex.  Not only do you get periodic updates, but you can also download free e-books such as What to eat at Midlife, What to Wear after 50, Style for Special Occasions, and Adult Children and Your Money.  THERE IS SOMETHING ON THAT WEBSITE FOR EVERYONE!"

(Our thanks to Pat D. for steering us to Tory Johnson's The Shift, and to Joan D. for her own review of books and websites we might enjoy.)

Want Places to Camp? Try These!

Many of us enjoy camping and hiking.  Are any of us up for a real challenge?  If you decide to go, take pictures for the rest of us.  We'll stay home and wait for them!

Camping.and other crazy things... Not for me!

These look like things you would like to do…  real adventures….If you suffer from acrophobia, these adventures are probably not for you!!!

Like...

• Cliff Camping 
• Portaledge Camping in Yosemite 
• Climbing Redwoods
• Jumping on the Trolltunga Rock in Norway
•  Sitting on the Trolltunga Rock in Norway
• British climber John Roberts in South Africa
• Ice Climbing a Frozen Waterfall

Just click on the link to see these daring people doing really crazy things in the name of camping and hiking

 http://lucy4wellness.wordpress.com/2013/06/10/looking-for-a-non-boring-vacation-this-summer/

(These pics appear on many websites such as the one above.Thanks to Bob A. for leading us to  these astounding camping and hiking shots.  The original website is unknown.   Any info forwarded will be published right  away.)

The 5 Rules for Men to Follow for a Happy Life

(Microsoft ClipsOnline)

Things haven't changed much for men who want to live a happy life.  Russell J. Larsen's headstone provides all instruction any man needs to know...and follow.  If a man wants to wear the happy smile of the cowboy on the left, the word 'follow' is extremely important.

 COWBOY TOMBSTONE:

Here are the Five Rules for Men to Follow for a Happy Life that Russell J. Larsen had inscribed on his headstone in Logan, Utah. He died not knowing that he would win the "Coolest Headstone" contest. 

FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW FOR A HAPPY LIFE:

1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, cooks from time to time, cleans up, and has a job.

2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh.

3. It's important to have a woman who you can trust, and doesn't lie to you

4. It's important to have a woman who is good in bed, and likes to be with you...And finally,

5. It's very, very important that these four women do not know each other... 

or you could end up dead like me.

 
 (Posted on Mens' Health "Forums," 09/07/2012 by KingBiscuit)


(Our thanks to Bob A. for this very sad tale.)

Water: We Know We Should Drink It,But When?

Please read! This could save a life... Maybe yours...

HEART ATTACKS AND WATER

How many folks do you know who say they don't want to drink anything before going to bed because they'll have to get up during the night?

Something else I didn't know ... I asked my doctor why people need to urinate so much at night time. Answer from my cardiac doctor - Gravity holds water in the lower part of your body when you are upright (legs swell). When you lie down and the lower body (legs and etc) seeks level with the kidneys, it is then that the kidneys remove the water because it is easier. This then ties in with the last statement.

I knew you need your minimum water to help flush the toxins out of your body, but this was news to me. 

Correct time to drink water...
Very Important. From A Cardiac Specialist! Drinking water at a certain time maximizes its effectiveness.

2 glasses of water after waking up - helps activate internal organs
1 glass of water 30 minutes before a meal - helps digestion
1 glass of water before taking a bath - helps lower blood pressure
1 glass of water before going to bed - avoids stroke or heart attack

I can also add to this... My Physician told me that water at bed time will also help prevent night time leg cramps. Your leg muscles are seeking hydration when they cramp and wake you up with a charlie horse. 

And also...
Dr. Virend Somers, is a Cardiologist from the Mayo Clinic, who is lead author of the report in the July 29, 2008 issue of the Journal of the American College of Cardiology.

Most heart attacks occur during the day, generally between 6 A.M. and noon. Having one during the night, when the heart should be most at rest, means that something unusual happened. Somers and his colleagues have been working for a decade to show that sleep apnea is to blame.

If you take an aspirin or a baby aspirin once a day, take it at night. The reason: aspirin has a 24-hour "half-life"; therefore, if most heart attacks happen in the wee hours of the morning, the aspirin would be strongest in your system.

FYI, aspirin lasts a really long time in your medicine chest, for years, (When it gets old, it smells like vinegar.).

Something that we can do to help ourselves - nice to know. Bayer is making crystal aspirin to dissolve instantly on the tongue.

They work much faster than the tablets.

Why keep aspirin by your bedside? It's about heart attacks.

There are other symptoms of a heart attack, besides the pain on the left arm. One must also be aware of an intense pain on the chin, as well as nausea and lots of sweating; however, these symptoms may also occur less frequently.

Note: There may be NO pain in the chest during a heart attack.

The majority of people (about 60%) who had a heart attack during their sleep did not wake up. However, if it occurs, the chest pain may wake you up from your deep sleep.

If that happens, immediately dissolve two aspirins in your mouth and swallow them with a bit of water.

Afterward: - Call 911. Phone a neighbor or a family member who lives very close by. Say "heart attack!" Say that you have taken 2 aspirin.

Take a seat on a chair or sofa near the front door, and wait for their arrival and ...DO NOT LIE DOWN!

A cardiologist has stated that if each person after receiving this e-mail, sends it to 10 people, probably one life could be saved!

The writer concludes, "I have already shared this information. What about you? Do forward this message. It may save lives!"

OUR NOTE:  Check with your doctor to find out if the info above is right for you before you adopt any suggested medicinal change.

(As often happens with info found and forwarded from web sources, we do not know the identity of the person posting.  However, we thank Tom Z. for sending this to us.) 

Take a Few Minutes Out for A Must See Video: Gorgeous Photography and Beautiful Music

Do you love music, or is photography a major interest?  This video has both.  Titled "Remember to Breathe,"  by cautious.  It might take your breath away!


Is there a problem with viewing this?  Absolutely!  You'll want to pack your bags and leave for Alberta right away.  Gorgeous!

http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=ThFCg0tBDck

( Our thanks to Bob A. again for his great contributions to the blog!)

Never Assume!

(Microsoft ClipsOnline)

Have you seen those ads for free samples on the web?  They pop up everywhere, and now they seem to appear frequently on Facebook.

Just a word of caution if you decide the product sounds interesting.  When you request a free 30-day sample, you pay only a shipping cost.  But once you make your request, make sure you take the time to read the 'terms and conditions'.  Sometimes they pop up quickly, and sometimes they don't until you submit your payment for shipping info, and sometimes they are tiny and at the bottom of the page.

Not checking the 'terms and conditions' can cause misunderstanding.  For example,  one product advertises a free 30-day supply with no obligation to continue ordering.  But don't assume that you have 30 days to see if you like it and to decide whether or not you want to continue with the product.

In this case, the 'terms and conditions' indicate that you have to notify the product's website within 14 (not 30 ) days to cancel your intent to order again.  One of our readers noticed a charge of $89 on her credit card two weeks after receiving the free sample in the mail! The next month's order had already been made automatically.

And a call to the website's help center on the 15th day was surprising.  The very nice representative informed her that the charge could not be deleted unless the following were to happen:

1) She could have  $49 of the total remitted immediately with the cancellation while on the phone
                                                     OR
2)She could have the entire amount deleted from her account if she first returned all unused product to the company's warehouse(another mailing charge).  The warehouse personnel would use that return to begin processing the deletion of credit card charge.  But that would take at least a month.

So, her advice to us?  Don't assume that a 30-day free trial gives you 30 days to cancel if you are dissatisfied.  Does that mean we should never try free samples?  No, sometimes that free sample can lead to satisfying future purchases.  But, no matter what, read the 'terms and conditions' before you hit 'submit'.