Have You Ever Wondered Why?

(Randy Glasbergen, Cartoonist)

There might be a reason that the glass of wine at the end of the day looks appealing, but for teachers who teach and grade exams, the reasons are many.  Fortunately, there are many serious students whose answers make life better for the teacher reading the responses of some students below.

" The following questions were set in last year's GED examination. These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds)."

 NOTE: Snopes.com indicates, however, that the responses are a mix of urban legends.  In any case, reading the answers might cause us to reach for a wineglass or our own! Enjoy.

Q. Name the four seasons.
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q. How is dew formed?
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed.

Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections?
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.

Q. What are steroids ?
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

(Shoot yourself now, there is little hope).

Q. What happens to your body as you age?
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery. (So true).

Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A. Premature death.

Q. What is artificial insemination?
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour?
A. Keep it in the cow. (Simple, but brilliant)

Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen)?
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A,E,I,O,U .

Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie.

Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
A. Nearby.

Q. What is the most common form of birth control?
A.. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.

 (Randy Glasbergen, Cartoonist)

(Our thanks to Joan H for forwarding this gem to us.)